I had plenty of jokes last semester about how I'd never be able to effectively handle a crying writer in the WCenter; yesterday's 3:00PM appointment proved me wrong. Wholly out of necessity (and a general sense of been-there-too-female-kinship) I confronted my fear of crying tutees.
I shipped out to reception to meet my tutee, a freshman girl working on her arguable claim paper. When I walked in, she was sitting very still with black-blue card in hand, staring at the floor - undoubtedly, something was up. Not wanting to make her uncomfortable, I introduced myself in my most up-beat voice and shook her hand. We walked back to the center, where she told me she was concerned her evidence wasn't strong enough (only personal accounts) to support her overall claim (URI should not cram 3 students into 2-person dorm rooms). She was also concerned she was not going to meet the five page length requirement. During her summary of concerns, I was compiling a list of new evidence she could explore - but did not want to overload her with suggestions. Therefore, I asked when her due date was ("tomorrow") and what she had planned for tonight.
And so it happened: as she informed me she had a soccer game but wasn't going to go... she broke down in tears. She continued on, explaining that her boyfriend had called her while she was sitting in reception and dumped her. It was heartbreaking!
What happened next I was wholly unprepared for: ...I didn't freak. Nor did I stutter, become wildly uncomfortable, or run for the hills as I've jokingly predicted during Wednesday meetings. Instead, I offered her a cup of tea (she declined) and said: "Well, I have a few neat suggestions for new evidence for your claim - how do you feel about getting right into this paper as a distraction from him for the evening?" She loved the idea and we got to work.
She ended up searching for psychological studies regarding the "trio-is-detrimental" theory and ultimately interviewed me (I once lived in a triple on campus) as another piece of evidence. After hitting the Longman for how to cite an interview, Sarah and Katie arrived and she also discussed her evidence with them - Katie provided some particularly helpful evidence in her interview.
I was particularly happy Sarah and Katie came in when they did; my tutee had just finished telling me how her two roommates don't like her, and now her boyfriend dumps her out of the blue via telephone - she couldn't catch a break! I think the collective, "team-work" vibe Sarah, Katie and I achieved was really productive for the tutee, not only as a writer but as a student trying to make it through her first semester.
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Glad you posted this - I think you did a great job, Kate. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sarah. You handled the situation perfectly. I love working as a team!
ReplyDeleteUgh! I just wrote a whole comment that got deleted.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I think it is good that this writer ended up with other undergrad women to hang with for a while. I had another student with a similar paper a couple of weeks ago. She, too, is stuck in a triple with two women who "do not like her." I suppose one can never underestimate the human capacity for unkindness. Neither, though, can we really underestimate the impact of small kindnesses like the ones you three showed this student.
As well, it sounds like you also convinced her to channel her energies into her writing project -- a move that will likely lead to a successful paper and a bit of a boost, which it seems she needs.
I'm bummed the tea didn't work!
It's amazing that she could even focus on writing an essay with all of that going on! I give her major credit for that.
ReplyDeleteI like how you didn't baby her when she was that upset--it seems like it might be a natural reaction to just send her home and tell her to take it easy. Instead, getting her to work sounds like it worked better--one less thing for her to worry about.
I have to say, I don't know if I'd know what to do in a situation like that...although crying might be better than other strong emotions, like anger.
Great job! I just hope that I have the fortitude to handle a situation like that in such a perfect way.
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